Brooding
by Irihi B.W
Summary: Zero wonders why the hell he can't be normal for once in his life. /MMZ one-shot. Contains one-sided shounen-ai./


This _always_ happens, and Zero wondered if this was just a part of himself or some new development that came about with the whole 'forced to wake up' fiasco. Maybe he had a few screws loose, a wire jarred out of place, a fragmented hard drive… but whatever the cause, Zero had resigned himself to thinking it was just him and the sooner he liberated the world and disappeared, the better.

The problem might be his emotional chip, and that makes sense. It had to be malfunctioning… why else would Zero always, _always_, fall in love with _men_ he could _never have_? And even if he _could_ have them, the relationship would be strained and short-lasting, regardless of intensity of feelings.

It started with X, naturally. Maybe they were more in the past, but upon second meeting, just before gallantly going off to kill his copy, Zero found himself in love with the Cyber Elf. Who _wouldn't_ want to love someone like X? Someone sweet, caring, unselfish and strong; always worrying and wanting to help, always thinking of the world before himself. X was a sweetheart, a literal angel, with the _pow_ of a fully charged buster pistol. If Zero could do the dirty deed, and if X could as well, the blond was sure they'd have some explosive nights.

Alas, X was a Cyber Elf, and after the whole thing with Elpizo (luckily, Zero's emotional chip happily skipped Elpizo) there was no chance he would get to live in the world again. As much as it made Zero's heart ache, he knew he couldn't stay in love with X, and tried to suppress and erase those extra feelings outside of friendship. It was very difficult, especially with how close they seem to get…

Well, at least til Harpuia got hurt, and Zero had to help take care of him. Dun dun dunn, the emotion chip strikes! Right off X and onto… X's son.

That was the most awkward time of Zero's life, walking into that room with energy crystals and repair kits and trying to _not_ look at Harpuia's face as he helped repair him. At the same time, Zero had to be slightly happy it wasn't someone like _Fefnir_ or _Phantom_… jeez, imagine the angst if for some crappy chance of fate Zero had loved _Phantom_. No, bad enough it was someone like Harpuia…

…who really was incredibly good looking, easy to respect, really seemed like an honorable good guy and probably _really_ good with his hands, since he dual-wielded, and you know what they say about those who can control the wind…

Zero felt like smacking himself each time he looked at Harpuia during the time he spent in the Base, because those sorts of thoughts were exactly the ones he had. While Zero knew to separate love and lust (although, how the hell could he lust for someone if he lacked the equipment to do things? He considered asking Ciel, but the whole situation was bad from the start anyway) and his love for X was much purer… he couldn't deny how much he loved crossing paths with Harpuia. He had a face that was pretty when smiling and down right _sexy_ when frowning, and he had a way of fighting that made Zero's mind wander more than he liked to admit.

But Harpuia was definitely _not_ available, regardless of what bit of… camaraderie they managed to foster. Zero was let down, but not heart-broken, since he sort of already knew it wouldn't work out.

He could still appreciate from afar anyway.

The third instance of the emotional chip malfunction made Zero wanting to claw his own eyes out. Especially since it was… y'know… _himself_. Imagine that, Zero deep down _was_ a narcissist, or at the very least, just obsessed with the things he can't have. And what was more forbidden and unattainable than his original body? Good ol' Omega, always bringing out the worst in Zero in more ways than _anyone_ thought.

Course, when he didn't know Omega was him and actually thought the guy was the giant armor, Zero had no such feelings. Once he laid eyes on the real Omega? It was _probably_ not 'love at first sight' as it was, 'holy fuck no way oh shit he's pretty good lookin' sort of lusty kind of feeling. Maybe it was the whole 'bad guy' thing too… not many people could resist the bad guys when they were good looking, and Omega really made red eyes look good…

After that initial impression, Zero made sure Omega was dead. It was disappointing in a sense, but he could _not_ afford harboring any sort of positive feelings for someone like that. Of course it all settled in after the fight and after Zero expressed grief for X's final farewell (Zero didn't think he ever really got over X, but, it wouldn't have worked out sadly…) and Zero probably beat his head into the wall more than four times. It all spiraled out from bad to worse since X, and Zero hoped and prayed it'd end with Omega… who could be worse than _Omega_?

Despite being basically an evil Zero, he was _still_ handsome and…

See? Why couldn't Zero be _normal_? Why couldn't he do the typical cliché cold-exterior-but-good-heart hero thing and fall in love with Ciel? Even if she was like… fourteen when they met. And a squishy human and totally unable to fend for herself. And clingy. And a bit on the whiny side. And human. And the fact she'd want babies or something and Zero, well, couldn't give her babies or even do the means to make said babies, and personally, Zero didn't like kids. Alouette didn't count because if she _really_ annoyed him, he could re-program her, so she technically wasn't a kid who couldn't 'grow up' in a few minutes and stayed annoying.

… Maybe that's why.

"Zero!"

"Go away," Zero covered his eyes with his wrist, "I'm brooding."

Ciel frowned up at his feet dangling off the roof of the trailer. "Brooding about _what_?"

"This whole stupid _trip_."

"It was your idea!"

"No, it was _your_ idea, I just didn't protest because it'd be six against one."

They bickered like an old married couple, yet Zero just couldn't bring himself to actually be said old married couple with her… well, he couldn't get old anyway.

Life sucks.

"Well, please get down so we can get moving."

"Just go. I'm not gonna roll off."

Ciel huffed and went into the trailer. No, Zero wouldn't roll off, but he might jump off… It was fairly tempting. He would have to try it on the road sometime.

Maybe it was a good thing he was easily distracted from his thoughts.

* * *

**Author's Note**: This is me, poking fun at the many pairings Zero can end up in within the _Zero_ series. Sort of a "serious humor" sort of fic? I know its not funny but... XD; Yeah.

Hey, its for everyone. Zero/X, Zero/Harpuia, Omega/Zero (eeee), and even a bit of Zero/Ciel. . All purpose!

Yeah I know, I suck XD;


End file.
